


Mistimed

by spiritofneglect



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A little, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, BFF Daichi, F/M, I Guess...?, One-Sided Attraction, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Sugawara is oblivious, Unrequited Love, kinda sad, sugawara x reader - Freeform, time skippy, timer soulmate au, well slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:46:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8430586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritofneglect/pseuds/spiritofneglect
Summary: I can remember those memories as if they happened a few fleeting moments ago, the race of my heart as my watch hit zero, how the world seemingly fell away when I met your eyes.But that had never been your destiny, and our watches’ judgment clashed. You met Sugawara Koushi in a gym. He met his soulmate in the chilly air of winter.





	

Mistimed  
_My clock stopped – but your life went on as before_

 _I can remember those memories as if they happened a few fleeting moments ago, the race of my heart as my watch hit zero, how the world seemingly fell away when I met your eyes.  
But that had never been your destiny, and our watches’ judgment clashed. _

\--

"Hey, Koushi," you slipped into the seat across from your best friend, loosening the scarf around your neck as you rubbed your gloved hands together, seeking to warm them in the chilly winter air.  
Snow fell with soft thuds outside, sliding down the school windows, forming rivers of molten snow, water trickling down to join together and fashioning little pools on the sill.  
Except for us the room was empty, a clock ticked, and you avoided his eyes. You wondered if you would ever be ale to meet them again, with the confidence you had developed in your time together.

tick, tock, tick…

The sound made you shiver with familiarity, uncomfortable nausea sweeping over you, dragging you along in the river that would surely drown you.

"Hey, (y/n)" his voice sounded oddly too cheerful in the melancholy room, the atmosphere much too impregnable with your own despondency for the happiness laced in his tone. "I only have a week left," he flashed you a small closed eye grin, genuine and happy, his gentle vulnerability making your heart melt despite the frosty weather, "and then I'll meet them!"  
You nodded, shifting your gaze away from him, you didn't know if you could properly mask the emotions that clouded the otherwise sharp, stark colour of your eyes. "Only a week Koushi, and then you'll be courting."  
"(y/n), you always sound so old fashioned!" his smile widens and a laugh escapes his flawless lips. He nudges you playfully, you look back to him, an answering genuine, ghost of a smile playing across your own lips. you yearn to intertwine my fingers into the silver of his hair, but you quickly banish the thought and with a flick, your eyes meet his own.  
"I suppose I do," yoi look back to the snow, drifting through the sky to settle on the ground, there would never be that exact snowflake every again, each one had its own individual pattern, a blueprint, its own unique build, much like a person.  
And then each snowflake finds another, and they gather on the ground, fallen and silent.  
For a moment you find yourself comparing this unconscious behavior to that of some people of your recent acquaintance, who behaved in the opposite fashion of what nature laid before you with such a simple and repeated act.  
"But I think it sounds more genuine," yoy slipped your hands into the pockets of your jacket, rounding your shoulders in the hope of trapping some of your body’s warmth, "'dating' is such a lack-luster term."

Koushi is silent for a time, then he exhales slowly, deeply before replying softly as the touch of a snow flake on one’s skin. "I think you have an old soul, a beautiful old soul, (y/n).”

you don't reply.  
And around you the snow continues to fall.

\--

"Are you going to tell him?"

The wintry air is crisp, cooler for the fact that day break has only just peaked it’s face over the horizon.  
you stand in the hall, hands tucked in your gym pants, having changed into the uniform for your own chosen sports training. "I want to," you sigh heavily, your eyes for once unguarded and surveying Koushi through the slightly ajar door, "but should I?"  
Daichi stands to your left, not looking at you but gazing through the window and the falling snow, at something you can't hope to espy.  
His sigh captures your attention, drawing your gaze from your best friend in time to see Daichi slump forward and close his eyes, preparing himself to speak.  
"You should, he only has a few days left..." He looks to you, all stern and serious, you see your own reflection in his eyes seemingly frozen in place by the sincerity of his tone. "When he meets her, it won't be fair to tell him anymore."  
"Will it ever be fair to tell him?"  
"It's not fair for you if you don’t. If you do he will have a choice, but the moment they meet...” A silent but charged moment drifts by. “You won't have one anymore and neither will he, and that will never be fair." He pushes off the wall, hands tucked away in his pockets he stands in front of you, closer than a typical friend would, but further away than an intended. You can feel his warm breath brush across your cheeks and fall away down your face as he dips his head to meet your pensive eyes. "Not for either of you, or her."

And then suddenly he leans forward, dropping his forehead on your shoulder, you can see the snow falling from grey skies over his bent form, and you feel the heartache pooling in your abdomen, warming you uncomfortably. But the gratitude you feel for having him as your close friend, nullifies the horrid sensation creeping inside of you.  
"Please Rose, I can't watch you suffer like this forever."

You don't respond and Daichi moves away, spearing you with one last imploring peer over his departing shoulder.  
You turn your head and determinedly evade his eyes, even as his words reverberate through your confused mind, you’re staring inwards at something he is incapable of seeing.

And the snow continues to fall.

\--

"It's today."

That was your own voice, your own words, but the usual familiarity eludes you.  
"Yeah, this is it." Koushi keeps his smile on his face, it has been there for the last two days, never leaving.  
You privately wondered if the beautiful smile he donned would ever be aimed at you ever again, in the way it had always been since you met.  
Since your watch went off.

"(y/n), I want to tell you now, because this is my last real chance..."  
You can hardly make yourself meet his silken brown eyes, soft with earnestness and promises he won't be making to you.

"(y/n), I have always valued you highly, my closest and most precious friend. I don't want to lose that with you." His smile dips in a little downward curve, you are mildly surprised by the careful honestly of his actions. "I was drawn to you for a long time, you know?"

Your eyes widen and your mouth opens just a little, and you have to look away and close your eyes for a few seconds, flattening your lips to a stern line. You refuse to react, even as the pain begins to seep inside you deeper with every word he utters, each whisper, every syllable adding more weight. At first it felt like nothing, like holding your hand out in the snow fall, but as they gather, build, and numb your fingers, they grow ever heavier, until you are left trembling with the effort to hold it all. Just as your heart trembled, I held it out, and it slowly grew heavier under the strain of unrequited love, sinking down somewhere no longer open to salvation.

"I don't know what it was, because you should only feel an inkling of what I feel for you, for your soul mate..." He looks past the roof, through the snow to the grey, silver skies. "Maybe we were soul mates in a past life..."

You feel a smile tug at my lips, but not from anything positive, as one may have been deceived at first glance. No, you smiled in acknowledgment of the mockery, the laughter that spread through you, scorning what you are, how you feel; your naivety. And the question repeats like a broken record in your thoughts; how ever did I ever end up in this position?  
your voice is weak as you speak.  
"Maybe we died early in our past lives?”  
"What a depressing thought..."  
"Yeah..." you agree, "depressing and sentimental."

you stare out at the snow, watching each flake fall and gather. you catch movement, your eyes trail to it, and you are met with the comforting, sympathetic brown of Daichi’s eyes.

"I have one-minute left," Koushi said, "I'm going to stand here." He puts a gloved hand out, and a flake lands on it, beginning to melt not a second later. "I loved you."

you nod, tears, warm and obvious are gathering in your eyes. you can't say a word; the ice has frozen your lips stiff in a frown. you bite the inside of your cheek. you are silent, barely even breathing, as you slowly choke on the emotions curling up your throat.

He catches one of your hands, gives it a squeeze, and you squeeze his back, before letting go as you kick off the wall.

"Stand with Daichi? I want to do this by myself."

you nod stiffly, he cannot see your face as you walk ahead, past the cover of the roof, through the cold, falling snow.  
But Daichi can, and he is already opening his arms as you cry, the tears forming ice on your cheeks.  
And then his bigger body is bundling you up and pulling you into his coat.  
The clutter of two watches as they hit the ground reaches your ears, and then the laughter.  
Koushi meets her, and she meets him.

The snow never stops falling.

\--

"Will you meet her? Please?”

you find yourself in an inescapable position, and you tell yourself you must be strong. you must be strong, as he doesn't want to lose you and you don't want to lose him. Be strong, you’ll be ok.

Koushi scratches the back of his neck nervously, "you're my best friend, I really can't take her on a date without knowing you guys have met and stuff."  
Fate seemed to make your very existence its toy, much to your chagrin.  
But you smile, and it's partially genuine, you’re strangely proud of yourself. "Yes, yes I will Koushi."  
He laughs a little, gratefully. "Thanks (y/n)!"  
"No need to thank me, moron." you chuckle back, not as heartily as you would have under different circumstances, but well enough.  
"Ok, so you and Daichi can meet her together, I'll meet you at our cafe after school. Yeah?"  
you nod, but inside your heart is constricting and twisting unpleasantly. "Yeah you will, I'll walk with Daichi."  
Koushi nods enthusiastically, says a few more things and then he's gone.

The snow whispered its soft kisses against the glass of the window. With no sound and no lasting effect, they river down.  
And wash away.

\--

"Hey (y/n), Daichi, this is Brook."

you smile and shake the girl’s hand, she fidgets nervously. She's pretty, cute even, nice hair and bright eyes, thin and clothes neat and matching. She's wearing natural makeup, some light eye-shadow and mascara that make her already glowing eyes pop.

you stop yourself from comparing yourself to her, nothing good could come of that.

you flinch however as her eyes go to your ever present watch, the numbers black and obvious and speaking in complete dismissal of your attributes.

"Your watch?"

Time seems to stop, the introductions and talking all halt. Koushi’s, Daichi’s and the girl’s eyes are all on you.

"Oh, oh my gosh!- I'm- I'm so sorry!" The girl squeaks, a hand shooting over her mouth, "I didn't mean to intrude, oh my gosh I feel awful-"

"It's alright." you speak slowly, choosing your words with care in front of Koushi and Daichi, even though he knows the truth, you don’t want him to worry. "I get it a lot, not a big deal. My timer is broken, has been for a long time."

At her hesitance and discomfort, you decide to continue, if only a little bit. "Um, my watch stopped, and there was no one there, it was empty, and I met no one."

"How do you know it wasn't a make eye contact, then you lose them sort of thing?" The girl suggests shyly, a hand still covering her mouth unsurely. "That happened to my cousin..." she adds measly, and your heart lurches horribly.

"Oh no, like I said... It was empty. See I was standing by myself-"

_you stand in the empty gym, heart leaping and stomach churning with expectancy and nervous excitement for what was too come. you feel like you might be sick. There are only seconds on your watch,  
00hrs 00min 10secs _

"I was in a gym, it doesn't have windows ‘cause they might get smashed from all the balls, I was facing the wall-“

_you can hear the door opening and the footsteps. and you want to turn but I can't because it’s him- its him - it's him!_  
There's a tap on your shoulder and you turn, you see your friend Daichi first, but then you see who is behind him.  
And the seconds stop, the watch burns your arm and you yelp, jumping back on instinct.  
you rip away from your timed soulmate, but the watch burns and it burns and it hurts so much-! 

you hesitate for but a moment, "and when my watch hit zero it sorta burned me really bad, that lasted awhile..."

_"(y/n)?"_

_you look up, and the pain is ebbing away, Daichi steps toward you and looks you over, "are you ok? what happened-" and then he sees your watch, he whips around to his companion, eyes searching for his watch. "Hey Koushi-!"_

_"Yes? Is she ok?"_

_Daichi goes quiet, then he turns back to you, and the burning is still there but dull now, a little throb through your wrist. The look in his eyes says enough, he is desperate, and unbelieving. And you know what's happened.  
It only takes a glance at Koushi’s watch to confirm it. _

"And there was no one there..." you finish, Koushi is blinking at you, you hadn't actually told him your lie before, as respectfully he has never asked, only acknowledging you misfortune on very rare occasions with a simple 'sorry'.

your soulmate, the one my timer counted down to meeting, was not mine to keep.

Daichi however steps close to you, leaning close to your ear, words only for you. "You ok?"  
you take a deep breath, close your eyes and centering yourself you nod slowly.  
"Anyways, it was ages ago, and I have since gotten over it."  
The girl apologises again, a few times, before you manage to sooth her worries and you all move on to a much nicer, safer topics.

And the snow is still falling.

 

-years later-

 

you stand on the bridge, chin rested in hand. The wind picks up myoury hair, the locks drifting and seemingly swimming in the breeze as you snuggle down into your scarf. The metal of the bar on which you lean seeps its icy cold through your layers of clothing, the frosty bite sinking into your flesh and chilling your bones.  
you shiver, your face slightly bitten from the chilly wind, and your eyes stare ahead.

The snow had stopped falling.

Instead the scenery was powdery white, a thick layer, the river flowing freely under a layer of ice, the banks are white with snow and the trees powdered in white, the sky is electric, icy blue and clear to forever.

It is beautiful.

you have moved from your home country, leaving school, your friends, and the past behind. It’s thoughts and memories that now plague you constantly.

The relocation made you suffer, in fact the only people in your contacts is Daichi, an old neighbour, and right at the bottom of the list, rated by popular use, is Koushi.

you never scrolled that far down the list, because even though it had been years since the pain was fresh, he had been, and remains your soulmate, and it still hurt knowing there would be no one in your future that you were too meet.  
you would never get to stand in a street, counting down the minutes until you met your other half, your missing part; never get to count down seconds, nervous and unprepared and hoping.  
Big dreams of love and family and a 'forever' partner who would complete you were totally dashed, gone with the wind that had taken the snow and winter those many years back. you are strong and proud of yourself, you could live to your own expectations, surpass them even. And even though you would never get to stand alone for a final few moments before meeting the embodiment of your other soul’s half, you are still happy, still able to love. you are not broken.  
Even though you never told him, despite Daichi’s words all those years ago, Koushi didn’t seem to be hindered by anything, Daichi said he is happy. you have been cheated and played with by life, fate toying with you like strings on a puppet.

The snow has melted beneath a dead tree, pooling to reflect the creeping branches.  
Spring is beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, I've edited this so many times, and I would value it as one of my best works. This has been changed into an x reader, as the original isn't.


End file.
